Raising Men

RAISING MEN

How important is it for a boy to be raised with a good man in his life?

Once while a nun was visiting a prison, a man asked if she would get him a Mother’s Day card. So she went out and got one and brought it back to him for him to send it to his mother. When other inmates saw what she had done, many of them asked if she would get one for them too. She called Hallmark and ended up getting 500 cards which were passed out at chapel. Later, seeing how well the Mother’s Day card program went, the nun got 500 Father’s Day cards to give to the inmates. They were also taken to the chapel and offered to the inmates, but this time none of the Father’s Day cards were picked up.

Boys and men need to feel that they belong to a group of other men. If they do not belong to a good group they may try to fill this need by joining gangs. Examples of good groups are scout groups, ball teams, church groups, etc. Dads should participate in group activities with their sons and don’t just drop them off.

A survey also reveled that only 3 out of 100 boys say that their dad spent time with them as an early teenager telling them about how to get along with girls and sexuality.

Men need to take time with boys to explain relationships with others as girlfriends, employers, coworkers, teachers, leaders, friends, etc. Prepare them for real world situations. Help them develop good work ethics and habits.

Boys and men need male role models. It has been said that if you couple a boy to a good man as he grows up he will not go bad. Boys should have men who they can spend quality alone time with doing things like fishing, hunting, camping, hiking, or even chores around the house. Women who are raising boys without a father, need to get a good man (or men) involved in their son’s life as soon as and as much as possible.

If a man feels comfortable with scriptures from the Bible, use passages as from Proverbs or James to teach lessons as about hanging with bad company, seduction, character, wisdom, adultery, etc.

For articles on Family, Relationships, Men Raising Boys, and much more, visit www.FocusontheFamily.com.

What Does The Bible Say About Submitting To Governmental Authority?

What Does The Bible Say About Submitting To Governmental Authority?

The following are just a few Scriptures and commentaries from the New King James Version of The MacArthur Study Bible which concern the subject of how Christians are to submit to governmental authority.

Romans 13:1-7 says "Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. 2 Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgement on themselves. 3 For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to evil. Do you want to be unafraid of the authority? Do what is good, and you will have praise from the same. 4 For he is God’s minister to you for good. But if you do evil, be afraid; for he does not bear the sword in vain; for he is God’s minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil. 5 Therefore you must be subject, not only because of wrath but also for conscience’ sake. 6 For because of this you also pay taxes, for they are God’s ministers attending continually to this very thing. 7 Render therefore to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due, customs to whom customs, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor."

The MacArthur Study Bible states that for Romans 13:1 the Greek word for "be subject" was used of a soldier’s absolute obedience to his superior officer. Scripture makes one exception to this command: when obedience to civil authority would require disobedience to God’s Word (see Exodus 1:17; Daniel 3:16-18; 6:7,10). Human government’s authority derives from and is defined by God. He instituted human government to reward good and to restrain sin in an evil, fallen world. Romans 13:2 - Since all government is God-ordained, disobedience is rebellion against God. Judgment here is not God’s judgment, but punishment from the government for breaking the law. Romans 13:3 - Even the most wicked, godless governments act as a deterrent to crime. Peaceful, law-abiding citizens need not fear the authorities. Few governments will harm those who obey their laws. In fact, governments usually commend such people. Romans 13:4 - This "bear the sword" symbolizes the government’s right to inflict punishment on wrongdoers - especially capital punishment. The "to execute wrath" is not God’s wrath, but the punishment inflicted by the civil authorities. Romans 13:5 - The "for conscience’ sake" means out of a sense of obligation to God and to keep a clear conscience before Him, not merely to avoid punishment from the civil authorities. Romans 13:6 - God ordained human government and demands submission to it. Jesus explicitly taught that taxes are to be paid-even to the pagan Roman government (Matthew 22:17-21). Romans 13:7 - Paul reiterates that paying taxes is mandatory. God demands that we show sincere respect and an attitude of genuine high esteem for all public officials.

1 Timothy 2:1-3 says "Therefore I extort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men, for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior."

The MacArthur Study Bible states that because so many powerful and influential political rulers are hostile to God, they are often the targets of bitterness and animosity. But Paul urges believers to pray that these leaders might repent of their sins and embrace the gospel. "Quiet" refers to the absence of external disturbances; "peaceable" refers to the absence of internal ones. While it remains uncompromising in its commitment to the truth, the church is not to agitate or disrupt the national life. When it manifests love and goodness to all and prays passionately for the lost, including rulers, the church may experience a certain amount of religious freedom. Persecution should only be the result of righteous living, not civil disobedience. "Godliness" indicated that there needed to be a call back to holy living. Godliness refers to having the proper attitude and conduct before God in everything; "reverence" can be translated "moral earnestness," and refers to moral dignity and holy behavior before men.

What Does The Bible Say About Homosexuality?

What Does The Bible Say About Homosexuality?

The following are just a few Scriptures and commentaries from the New King James Version (NKJV) of The MacArthur Study Bible (MASB) and The Global Concise Bible Dictionary (GCBD) which concern the subject of homosexuality. Since the words "homosexual and homosexuality" were not invented until the 1800's, you may not find these words in some Bibles, especially the King James Version which was translated in 1611. Nevertheless the concept is well discussed in ancient Scripture.

In the Bible, sex outside of marriage is condemned. The only marriage relationship which is recognized as appropriate in the Bible is marriage between a man and a woman. Nowhere does the Bible say that same sex marriage is permitted. Adultery, sexual relations with a married person who is not one’s spouse, and fornication, sexual relations between unmarried persons, is forbidden by God.

The GCBD states that homosexuality is sexual intercourse with a person of the same sex. Nearly every reference in Scripture to homosexuality is to the actual performance of sex acts with a person or persons of the same sex. Scripture does not concentrate on the "desire" for others of the same sex. Although Matt. 5:28 indicates that it is sinful to look at another person to lust for them for it is as you have already had sex with them in your heart.

Homosexual acts are condemned in the strongest terms in both Testaments. Old Testament Law says in Lev. 18:22, "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination" (NKJV). An abomination is something abhorrent to God. It is revolting; it makes God sick and provokes God to anger (GCBD). Lev. 18:29 says "For whoever commits any of these abominations, the persons who commit them shall be cut off from among their people"(NKJV). All the sexual perversions discussed in chapter 18 of Leviticus were worthy of death, indicating their loathsomeness before God (MASB). Lev. 20:13 adds "If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them" (NKJV).

New Testament Scripture reveals that Romans 1:24-27 states "Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, who exchanged the truth of God for the lie ... . For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due"(NKJV). MacArthur states that sexual immorality begins in the heart and moves to the shame of the body (MASB).

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 says "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (NKJV). The terms homosexuals and sodomites refer to those who exchange and corrupt normal male-female sexual roles and relations. While believers can and do commit these sins, they do not characterize them as an unbroken life pattern True Christians recognize and repent (turn away from and try not to do) these sins. They do not continue to practice sinful acts as active homosexuals do.

Since many people in our society believe that homosexuality should be accepted as a normal alternate lifestyle, should Christians learn to tolerate such behavior? Should we try to reinterpret what the Bible teaches in order to fit our changing societal beliefs, or should we try to change what our society believes back to what the Bible teaches? Ethics, morals, and values taught in the Bible, are they absolutely true, or should Christians be allowed to believe whatever they want to believe? Romans 1:22 says "Professing to be wise, they became fools" (NKJV). Man rationalizes his sin and proves his utter foolishness by devising and believing his own philosophies about God, the universe, and himself (MASB). A wise man accepts the Bible, God’s word, as true and follows its teachings.

What Does The Bible Say About Drinking?

What Does The Bible Say About Drinking?

The following are just a few Scriptures and commentaries from the New King James Version of The MacArthur Study Bible which concern the subject of drinking.

Proverbs 20:1 - "Wine is a mocker, strong drink is a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise." Wine was grape juice mixed with water to dilute it, but strong drink was unmixed. While the use of these beverages is not specifically condemned, being intoxicated always is. Rulers were not to drink, so their judgment would not be clouded nor their behavior less than exemplary. 31:4-5 - "... it is not for kings to drink wine, nor for princes intoxicating drink; lest they drink and forget the law, and pervert the justice of all the afflicted." Intoxicating drinks can weaken reason and judgment, loosen convictions, or pervert the heart. They do not suit rulers who need clear, steady minds and keen judgment. 23:20,21 - "Do not mix with winebibbers, or with gluttonous eaters of meat; for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and drowsiness will clothe a man with rags." 23:29-30 - "Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has contentions? Who has complaints? Who has wounds without cause? Who has redness of eyes? Those who linger long at the wine, those who go in search of mixed wine." Lingering long at the wine and searching for more to drink are indicative of constant drinking, so as to induce drunkenness. 23:31 - "Do not look on the wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it swirls around smoothly." This describes wine when it is especially desirable and when it is most intoxicating, perhaps as ‘strong drink’ or mixed with spices only and not water, as opposed to the ‘new wine’, which was fresh and unfermented or less fermented. 23:32 - "At the last it bites like a serpent, and stings like a viper." This recounts the hangover, but also the more than likely destructive consequences. 23:33 - "Your eyes will see strange things, and your heart will utter perverse things." The delirium and distortion of reality are part of the drunkard’s miserable experience. Also see 23:34-35 where here is the warning about the dizziness, sickness, and confusion of the drunkard. 31:6-7 - "Give strong drink to him who is perishing, and wine to those who are bitter of heart. Let him drink and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more." Such extreme situations, possibly relating to a criminal on death row or someone agonizing in pain with a terminal illness or tragic circumstance, are in utter contrast to that of the king.

1 Timothy 5:23 - "No longer drink only water, but use a little wine for your stomach’s sake and your frequent infirmities." ‘Water’ in the ancient world was often polluted and carried many diseases. Therefore Paul urged Timothy not to risk illness, not even for the sake of a commitment to abstinence from wine. Paul wanted Timothy to use wine which, because of fermentation, acted as a disinfectant to protect his health problems due to the harmful effects of impure water.

Romans 14:21 - "It is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles or is offended or is made weak." To make someone stumble is a stumbling block - anything a believer does - even though Scripture may permit it - that causes another person to fall into sin.

Ephesians 5:17,18 - "... do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine, ... ." Scripture consistently condemns all drunkenness.

Also see Deuteronomy 14:26, Psalm 104:14-15, Isaiah 5:11-12 & 28:7-8.

No Stopping on the Slippery Slope

No Stopping on the Slippery Slope
By Bruce Malone

Most people are concerned with the rise in crime, drug use, and suicide among our youth. Many have been led to believe that government support groups such as DARE will help reduce this trend. However, studies have shown that there is no long term significant difference in behavior of children who have been through these types of programs.1 Religion also seems to have little effect on children’s behavior. A scientific survey showed that churched youth behavior is appallingly similar to that of unchurched youth. Almost all of the youth in this survey professed a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, regularly read the Bible, and attended weekly youth group meetings. Yet 66% stated that they had recently lie, 36% had cheated on exams, 10% had been drunk or used drugs in the last 3 months, and 55% had engaged in sexual activity by age 18 (1994 Church Youth Survey, George Barna Research Group).

Parents who wish their children to have an unshakable moral foundation cannot rely on church attendance to provide it. So what is the solution? Allan Bloom provides the clue in his book, The Closing of the American Mind. He states that, "There is one thing a professor can be absolutely certain of: almost every student entering the university believes, or says he believes, that truth is relative." We are destabilized by a shift in thinking where the basis for morals has moved from an acknowledgment that absolute truth exists to the shifting sands of tolerance and relativism.

Absolute truth exists because God exists. An absolute truth is something which is true for all times, for all people, and under all circumstances. It is not true because it is convenient or expedient. Absolute truth is a reflection of the One who made the universe. Too many of us do not realize the extent to which they have accepted our cultural dance with relativism. It is time to quit blaming society, the media, the schools, or peers for the attitudes and behaviors of our children. It is time to look in the mirror and honestly assess the model we set for our children.

Jesus Christ stated that He is truth. This is not a conditional statement, and we are commanded to live by this absolute. Do we cheat on taxes, ignore speed limits, bring home items from work, not give our full effort to our employer? If so, why are we surprised when our children choose to be less honest or honorable in other areas? Do we justify lies in order to avoid consequences? If so, why expect our children to be honest?

God is pure. Do we entertain ourselves with talk shows, dirty jokes, and the moral raw sewage emanating from TV and movies? Why should we expect our children to remain sexually pure? Do we deal with stress using alcohol, cigarettes, or legal drugs? Why shouldn’t we expect our children to do the same with illegal drugs?

Absolute moral truth is like a plateau surrounded by a steep slippery slope. Once you are willing to step off the plateau, you will slide down the slope until you put in a stake to keep from sliding further. We often deceive ourselves into believing that our stake is the correct moral standard. Why are we surprised when our children slide further down the slippery slope before putting their stake in at a lower moral level?

Jesus stated, "I did not come to abolish (God’s moral) law, but to fulfill it." How tragic that our actions reveal a rejection of absolute truth. If we expect our children to abstain from substance abuse and sexual sin, we must be willing to model the straight and narrow path that should characterize Christianity.

1 Both a 1991 Kentucky Study and a 1990 Canadian government study showed no significant difference in student drug use after DARE.

A complete set of articles examining science and reality from a Christian perspective can be found at SearchfortheTruth.org and in the book Search for the Truth by Bruce Malone.

The Parent's Role

The Parent’s Role of Preparing
Children for a Relationship With God

A parent is to show a child that the parent is in charge and should be respected. The parent sets the rules and if the rules are broken, the child will be disciplined and have to suffer the consequences of their actions. The parent is also to show love, mercy, compassion, understanding and forgiveness. The parent should always communicate with the child after they calm down - talk about rules, consequences and how to avoid consequences. The parent is also to stress to their child that they still love them. In this way the child will learn to love and respect their parent.

Later in life the child will see how God has rules and set parameters. The child will know to respect God and obey His rules. The child will also realize that if these rules are not obeyed, they may have to suffer consequences. If they were forgiven and loved by their parent, they will understand that God still loves and forgives them. If the child was taught how to communicate with their parent, they will be better prepared to communicate with God through prayer, reading or hearing His word, and meditating on what they read or heard. God stresses to His children that He loves them. In this way the child will learn to love and respect God.

Children are God’s gift to parents, and parents are to be good examples to their children. To be good parents and an early example of God to their children, they must also communicate with God. It is the parent’s responsibility to prepare children for a relationship with God.